500 words a day [3]

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

As cheesy as it may sound, I heard this quote while watching We Bought a Zoo today and it really resonated with me. The idea of embracing the momentary lapse of courage, taking it head on, and not contemplating whether it is a good idea or not – things that are totally opposite of my natural instincts. But maybe that was why it caught my attention and got me thinking.

I have never been one to fly by the seat of my pants or “go with the flow”. I am type-A and borderline OCD. I tend to err on the side of caution, making lists of pros and cons, and second guessing every decision I make. To me, these traits come innately. It does not require much conscious action before I have red flags up and lists being made as to why I shouldn’t do something. It is something I have been trying to loosen the grip on for quite some time.

Some may argue that questioning things is good. It allows you to ensure you are making the “right decision”. Others may argue that going with your gut is the way to go. Common sense would dictate that we are best finding a nice balance somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.

Although I do pride myself on being detail oriented and analytical, I admire the ability of certain people to just pick up and go. No agenda, no question, no worry. But even the thought of this very thing gets an anxiety attack bubbling.

So where do I start? How do I let go – even if it is just a little bit?

Take things day by day. Take each situation as it comes. Sometimes maybe just say ‘yes’ – no questions asked. It is going to be hard at first. There are going to be times of anxiety and panic attacks. There are going to be times when you say to yourself you can’t quite let go – and that is okay. It is about learning yourself, and finding what that balance is to you.

It is okay if you are not as loosey goosey as your younger sibling or as type-a as your mother – because they are not you. Only you are you.

I have finally come to terms with this myself. I will never be one that can just pick up and go on a moment’s notice. I am okay with that. But that doesn’t mean I can’t try to be from time to time. Sometimes all it takes is those 20 seconds of insane courage to step outside the comfort zone and do something you will always remember.

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